Kids

Disclaimer:

I wrote this to help myself and others make a major, personal, permanent decision. I didn't write this as a rant(though it kind of evolved into one).

This is not a public page, and is not linked anywhere.

If I asked for your input with this, I thought you were a competent, rational person, who will argue responsibly, using opinions backed up by relevant, accurate, and verifiable facts.

Reasons (admittedly) TO have Kids:

1. Tax Benefits.
2. Seeing a "little you" grow up.
3. Pour your love and money into something. That probably won't die or run away.
4. Someone to take care of you when you get old.
5. Trying to steer another person with your life knowledge.
6. Filling an empty vessel with all your love.

35 Reasons NOT to have Kids:

1. Permanency-   You can NEVER change your mind. And they happen by accident
2. Sleep-   Stay up late, sleep in. Nobody waking you up you cannot punch in the face.
3. No Responsibly-   Feeding, Safety, Education, etc.
4. Disease-   No Lice
5. Nice Stuff-   Nothing gets broken, stolen, stained or drooled on.
6. Sex-   Sex whenever you want. Period.
7. Money-   Disposable income. Be Greedy
8. No Pressure-   None of the Credit if you raise a President, all of the Blame if you raise a serial killer
9. Being Interesting-   No need to brag to strangers about the medial tasks my toddler, and most monkeys can also perform
10. Options-   You still have options. Join the Marines, Move to Peru. Whatever, you aren't a parent
11. Strangers Judging-   Anything you do with your kid is cause of debate
12. 9 Months Sober-   Or drink while pregnant, and get scowled at like A Nazi Strangling a Puppy
13. Bad Genetics-   Guilt of Passing on your bad Genetics to someone else.
14. Bad Luck-   Raising a Terminally Ill, Special Needs Child.
15. Being Clean-   How many times do your friends with kids have clean homes?
16. Quiet-   Hanging out with friends with kids, and knowing what your life would be like if you didn't use condoms.
17. Embarrassment-   Screaming kids in Mall
18. Freedom-   There is no one stopping you from doing ANYTHING you want to do. No Limitations but the Law, and your Wallet
19. Time-   All the time in the world
20. Diapers-   No Diaper Changes
21. Spontaneity-   Wake up, Get in the car, and leave in 3 mins flat. Vacations? Book it now.
22. No Babysitters-   No need to find, screen, and pay for someone to do the thing you are FORCED to enjoy.
23. No Stretch marks-   For girls, saggy breasts. Lower, loose-ness. Not my words--a very common complaint from moms.
24. No Accountability-   Not having to lie to yourself that everyone else's kids are the devil, but YOURS are going to be angels
25. No Ties to an ex-   Breakups (even of marriages) are much easier
26. Saving for Future-   Saving for University, for a kid that most likely won't go
27. Terrible Twos-   Non-stop screaming, and messes
28. Worry-   Worrying about Their Future. Every ambulance you hear, you will worry.
29. Raising a Teenager-   The only stage of your life you probability clearly remember. Mood swings, Drugs, Sex, Driving, Crime.
30. Sick Days-   Having to work while sick because you used your sick days on your kid.
31. Relationship Focus-   Your significant-other is no longer your Main-Focus
32. Having Friends-   Remember having friends? When was the last time you saw your Friends with Kids?
33. Poop Free-   No need to handle other people Shit, Piss, Puke, and Drool.If you do, It is probably your own fault (and one hell of a night out)
34. Travel Light-   No Need to Pack 4 bags to go to the Park; 10 for an overnight.
35. Child Support-   No Matter what, you're paying a bill for 18+ years. You thought Telus/Rogers was a commitment.

Never have kids if:

• You plan to have the government support them
• You have a very-high probably of passing on something awful (genetically)
• You have a very-high probably of dying before they are grown
• You can't take prenatal vitamins
• You can't stay sober during pregnancy

[Flat-out] Wrong reasons to have Kids:

We probably have nothing to talk about if you disagreed with any of these disasters

• Show your parents you can be a better parent then they were
• Trying to keep your relationship together
• Religious reasons
• Because 7 Billion People on Earth isn't enough
• Pressure from your friends and Family-- Both have a biased interest in seeing you repeat their choice / mistake
• Having a kid as a Status-Symbol; To fit it.
• Trying to correct your parents mistakes.
• Society Expects you to become a parent.
• You are running out of time.
• Lying to yourself when you know initially you thought it was a mistake, but now call them a blessing
• Keeping you out of trouble
• Enjoy and get PAID to spend time with other people kids
• Sex feels Great.
• You think you'll be together forever
• Kids Happen by Accident.

Alternatives:

If I this hasn't convinced you, try these:

• Dog/Cat
• Unconditional Love
• No Babysitters.
• Less of a Commitment. Shorter Lives, Infinitely Less Money
• Happy Medium: A Perfect Combination between Responsibility and Freedom.
• A Great Test for your Relationship.
• Wait
• You can always change your mind later. Don't fall for the lies.
• This is literally the most important
• Why give up the best years of your life? You are young, fun, healthy, and look good naked. Wait a Bit.
  Don't wait to have a life again once you're 45.
• Adopt
• Save an unwanted child
• Have it at the perfect time.
• Get the Gender, you want

What being a parent is like:

(In other parents' words):

• No Spare Money
• No Time for your Partner
• Never-ending shit to do
• Zero Privacy
• Dining out $100 vs $30

Still Thinking having a child is the right move for you?

Click Here for a quick "Are you Ready" Quiz

Please Stop:

If you are a parent, and want to convince us non-breeders to reconsider, at the very least PLEASE stop :

• Acting miserable(or saying you are).
• Acting Tired (or complaining you are).
• Making excuses why you can't come out and be social like you used to.
• Saying how awesome single-people's lives are.
• Mention How we USED TO have such great times.
• Saying how lucky I am that I don't have kids.
• How you would give anything to be single / Your lost youth.

Bullshit Lies you have to stop telling:

• How adorable everything your kids does is
• Kids bring so much joy
• You don't know love until you have kids
• You are infertile after 40
• Down Syndrome WAY more likely after 35

Why is sucks to date a single parent:

• If you break up, you have to breakup with their kids
• You might get attached to the kids
• They will likely have little free time.
• You will have very little alone time, privacy, and time alone.

Memes:

Movies that Scare Single People:

The Simpsons S15E08 Marge vs Singles Seniors Childless Couples and Teens and Gays

Videos that Scare Single People:

Final Thoughts:

There is never a perfect time to have a kid. So nature forces you..... Does that make any sense?

The $250,000 the average Canadian kids costs(over its lifetime) would EASILY pay for caring for you in old age.

When was the last time you saw a happy parent,.... for more than 15 minutes, unless they are free from their kid.

I love my niece, she is the closest thing I ever want to come to being a parent.

I respect many of my friends/family who had kids.

Some of the poorest people, have the most kids

Links:

• Things you Never Say
• "Crappiest Things That Can Happen to You"
• "9 Brutally real reasons why millennials refuse to have kids"
• "11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids"
• "5 Annoying Things Parents Say to People Who Don't Have Kids"
• "25 Hilariously Unfortunate Things Moms Have Done While Sleep-Deprived"
• Make this a Meme
• Captain Obvious Another Vacation Condoms